Perspective of a hospital

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by torian princess (The original Blakanadian.) on Wednesday, 22-Sep-2004 17:01:16

Hey everyone,
here's a poem I wrote recently...
tell me what you think...
***
Perspective of a Hospital.

The sent of coffee along with cafeteria food
smothers the stench of death and decay.
Disease clings to the walls,
Raps itself in the shadowy corners...
A center of false care;
Where one's only secure
for a time...
A place of anxious waiting,
watching,
hoping for the best.
Constantly trying,
and failing to get rest...
Forced medication,
you'll never quite know why,
all they tell you
is some crackpot lie.
It's all made up,
just because
they can "only do so much."
Everyone a masked face,
voices filled with fake cheer;
they try to make you feel better,
try to quell the mounting fear.
A place so dismal,
I'd never want to be;
yet every time I'm ill,
it's where they once more place me.
Then begins the waiting
and the hoping starts anew;
anxiety suppressed
for the sake of those around you.
You must be brave,
for all of their sakes.
these are the thoughts,
They pull at your mind;
Cause your resolve to brake...
Then the tears come,
The loss follows suit;
Every speech starts the same,
"I'm sorry; we did all we could do...”

Post 2 by Leafs Fan (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 23-Sep-2004 10:02:35

Well done.

Post 3 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Thursday, 23-Sep-2004 11:54:03

it has a good rhythm and plenty of anger
a feeling of bitterness

it
also has a strong sense of personal experience

but that's just a feeling

Post 4 by shea (number one pulse checking chicky) on Thursday, 23-Sep-2004 17:20:26

well done! Aint that the truth.

Post 5 by Wishes (Veteran Zoner) on Sunday, 26-Sep-2004 19:17:34

This isn't too bad, but lacks a wider appeal due to it's subjectivity and lack of focus.

Post 6 by Wishes (Veteran Zoner) on Sunday, 26-Sep-2004 19:36:09

Emotional, well paced and empathetic. Something a lot of us can relate to.

Post 7 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Saturday, 09-Feb-2008 22:08:44

Good. I can totally agree with it. Keep writing.